andi lately
no. 2 - march 2021
Can you guys believe it’s been almost one whole year since the pandemic began and life as we knew it completely shifted? Some days I find myself totally adjusted to this new (often evolving) normal, and other days I am still in shock and processing what the heck even happened over the last year. I think of late March and early April 2020 often — it was a very fragile and vulnerable time for me (and I don’t think I’m alone in that 💛). We, collectively, have all been through SO much and there have been a lot of really, really hard emotions and experiences to process through.
The other day, I overheard Lucy singing a song she had heard from Daniel Tiger. She kept singing “it’s okay to feel sad sometimes…little by little, you’ll feel better again” and it was the sweetest thing to witness. The full lyrics are below. What a powerful, important reminder for little kids. And, for us grownups too. Being sad is okay. Feeling down is okay. Crying is okay. And it’s also important to remember that we WILL feel better again, eventually.
I’ve felt this way about the last year - the heaviness and emotional trauma from the pandemic can sometimes feel very sad. It’s sad to think about all of the missed moments, our expectations for what life would look like that changed suddenly, the lack of support and structures we once relied on, the grief. It’s okay to not be okay all the time - whether about the big, collective things we all have struggled through like a pandemic and/or the small, but still important, personal things, like a tough phase you’re going through with your kids or a challenging work situation or so many more things. There’s collectively been a lot of sad - and individually we all have reasons to feel sad sometimes. I’m reminding myself that it’s okay to feel sad — and that I will feel better again. ✨ Thanks, Daniel Tiger!
LIFE UPDATES
There’s been some exciting happenings and changes lately that I want to share!
I GOT VACCINATED! Wow this feels huge. I found out pretty last minute that I qualified in phase 1C here in Nashville because of my open heart surgery as a child. Woo hoo! While it doesn’t change anything day-to-day, I immediately felt so relieved and super hopeful for the future.
I have my own office! We sort of spontaneously decided to rent out an office space for E and/or I to work from. It’s a tiny, bright corner office within a larger co-working space and it’s been SO great. I also love that it’s only a mile or so from our house so that makes it a lot easier to pop in and out and get work done without children crawling on top of me or screaming at me. 😅
Speaking of work things, I launched a new website for my shop! This was a huge labor of love and I’m so pumped to have a more user-friendly, visual, and easy to navigate website to show off my Moroccan textile collection + interior consulting services: shopluckycollective.com
I AM GOING TO HAVE TWO NIGHTS AWAY FROM MY CHILDREN! I have been in ‘mom mode’ and put my kid(s) to sleep / woken up with them every night/morning since September 2019. I AM SO READY FOR A BREAK. We are going to Chattanooga and can’t wait to spend time alone with E and sleep in (well, our bodies just naturally wake up at 5:45am now…but stay in bed without Mickey Mouse blaring or being “on”)
BLOG POST ROUNDUP
Our trip to East TN (know a lot of people asked to see the Airbnb!)
Underwear Recommendations - finally compiled all of your recommendations for your favorite women’s underwear! The top recommendations were Aerie, Tommy John, Natori, Everlane, Parade, ARQ, and Auden (Target) — the blog post links to all of the recommendations and more!
PRODUCTS WE OWN & LOVE
I’ve been loving my new Binkmade water bottle - it’s so pretty that it inspires me to drink even more water 😅 (I also bought the straw!)
We have this “I Never Forget a Face” memory game and Lucy really likes playing! It is beautifully made and features illustrations of diverse kids from all over the world.
I put on this Kiehl’s concentrate every morning after washing my face and LOVE IT SO MUCH. It smells sooo good and leaves my face feels hydrated and fresh.
I’ve used a hair towel for a couple years now but have been switching it up with a towel scrunchie lately. This link will get you 20% off everything from Kitsch, fyi!
RECENTLY READ
I just finished Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson and really, really believe this should be required reading for all. It is about a hidden, powerful caste system within America, and tells the story of many who have lived under the caste every day in their day-to-day lives. It was so beautifully written, eye-opening and very thought-provoking. Earlier this summer, I read her book The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration which was also a great, important read.
A RANDOM PLANT TIP FROM E 🌵
DON’T MOVE ALL YOUR PLANTS OUTSIDE YET! We had our first couple of sunny days this past week in Nashville. Daffodils pushed up through the ground, our cherry tree is blossoming and all our plants are basking in the sun! As soon as the weather gets nice, our tendency is to stick our plants outside and start spring planting. Patience! The cold isn’t 100% behind us and in most places in the US, night-time temperatures are still too cold to put your houseplants outside, and when it does get warm enough, remember that putting your plant straight into the sun outside will kill your plant. Start the transition slowly - a few hours a day in the morning or afternoon in the shade - to help your plant “harden off” to prevent sun damage.
WAYS TO HELP OTHERS (both of these are Nashville-based for this newsletter!)
Did you know Black mothers are 3x more likely to die from pregnancy-related causes, and black infants are twice are likely to die before their first birthdays — than white women and infants? Homeland Heart Birth and Wellness Collective is an incredible organization that provides programming and services for women and children of color, as well as training and support of women of color midwives and doulas, in order to help improve birth outcomes.
Nashville Community Fridge is exactly what it sounds like - it’s a place (in two locations) where anyone can show up and take food, for free, from the community fridge. You can drop off grocery items at the fridge directly or Venmo nashvillecommunityfridge and they will pick up items for the fridge for you! 🥕
FROM MY CAMERA ROLL
MOTHERHOOD REFLECTIONS
I’ve raised my voice at my kids. I’ve had adult temper tantrums. I’ve blamed my kids for my bad attitude and for sometimes just...doing things children do. I’ve had days where I didn’t like the way I showed up as a mom. I’m not as patient as I want to be. I’ve been so frustrated and annoyed and OVER IT.
I was telling my therapist about a particularly bad day — one where I blew it as a mom. I cried as I told her I don’t want to be like this — an angry “bad mom.” She gently said, “you’re not a bad mom. You’re not an angry person. I think you might be grieving the loss of your autonomy.”
It was an a-ha moment for me. I reach my limit easily because I’m craving independence. I’m grieving autonomy. My schedule is not my own. My time is not my own. My body is not my own.🤱🏼 My space is not my own. My decisions aren’t my own. I often have unrealistic expectations for what I can get done in a day while simultaneously taking care of two small children, which often leads to be projecting my disappointment, frustration, and anger out on them. I am giving so much to the people who are dependent on me and I want to get some of it back.
So what now? I own what happened and apologize to my kids after I lose it. I try to find time for myself, even if it’s just a few minutes. I lower my expectations for what I can accomplish. I embrace flexibility. I start again the next day. I give myself grace. ✨
Originally shared here
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Thanks for reading! I love hearing from you so always feel free to shoot me a note!
Aw. I'm glad you guys got a small office space so you can work out of and store inventory. I hope you can find a rhythm that works for you guys. It's hard being a mom. I will always remember a scene in Sex in the City 2 where Charolette went into her pantry and cried. Like Daniel Tiger said in the song, "crying is okay." :)