My baby hates being in the car. Here's the advice y'all gave me 🩵

Plus 50+ 'baby's favorite' songs 🎶

Hi friends! This newsletter is (usually) a monthly-ish round-up of life things - what I'm enjoying, reading, learning, buying, doing, thinking about, and more. Today, I’m sharing about one specific topic - advice, product recommendations, and encouragement for parents with babies who, like Daisy, hate being in their car seats. 🫣🫠😮‍💨😫

Can you believe Daisy will be turning FIVE MONTHS OLD later this month? Where does time go? She has been such a joy and delight to our family and is such a chill, laid-back, and generally happy little gal. The literal only time she *isn’t* happy is in the car seat. And the thing is, especially when you’re baby #3 and have two big sisters who have places to be… you are going to spend a good amount of time in the car. 🙈 It’s hard to avoid car time in this current season of our life!

Anyway, pretty early on in her life we realized she was VERY UNHAPPY in the car. In the fall, I asked my IG community for help - did anyone have tips, tricks, advice, encouragement, anything to help a baby become more comfortable in their car seat? I received a ton of super helpful advice and feedback and wanted to compile and share it. Of course, I meant to do this months ago, but in my current phase of life, it’s been tricky to find time to sit down and write. But I’m finally doing it!

Sometimes I feel like a new mom all over again because apparently, I forget a lot of things! Of course, we spent time in the car with Lucy and Winnie as babies but it’s different now. Both because Daisy is, of course, a different baby than her sisters, but also because of our lifestyle and environment at the time. When Lucy was a baby, we lived in San Francisco so we didn’t drive all that much and instead, would walk and use a baby carrier or stroller. When we were in the car, it was usually with two adults so one of us could sit in the back with her. When Winnie was a baby, it was Covid times. We didn’t go anywhere! Again, when we were in the car, it was usually as a family unit so one of us adults could sit in the back with her.

For a while, when there were two adults in the car, one of us would sit next to Daisy. We could give her the pacifier and talk to her/look at her and that seemed to help a little (but not always and not all that much). But a lot of times lately, I’m the only adult in the car and I’m driving and can’t tend to her/look at her because... I’m driving. For several months, I would feel anxious about the idea of driving anywhere knowing she would scream and cry and be miserable. That anxiety has seemed to lift a bit in the last couple of weeks for me. I’m trying to remind myself - she is okay. She is safe. I am okay. I am safe. But whew, it was a physical, emotional, and mental struggle for both of us in the car for a while! ❤️‍🩹

Here are some of the tips, product recommendations, advice, encouragement, etc. that fellow parents shared with me to help babies who dislike being in the car.

TIPS FOR BABIES WHO HATE THEIR CAR SEAT

And all of this is being shared with the caveat that yes, some of things might work and might help sometimes. And other times, nothing works. 🫣 In my experience, there has been no single magical cure-all - it just takes TIME. 💛

Portable Sound Machine: We bought this one when Daisy was two months old. It clips onto her car seat and plays a few different noises. When she’s been fussy in the car, I will turn it on as a white noise/rain sounds (similar to what we have for nap/bedtime at home). I haven’t charged it since November so quite impressed with how long a charge lasts on this thing!

Car Mirror: There were lots of recommendations for a baby car mirror and I bought this when she was about a month old. I like being able to easily see her from my mirror, but not sure how much the mirror actually helps Daisy not cry in the car seat. But good to have, I think!

Play Music Baby Likes. There were several recommendations for playing music baby likes! By FAR the top recommendation was ‘The Happy Song’ by Imogen Heap. I hadn’t heard of it, but so many parents raved about this helping their baby. The song was created based on research/science using sounds and melodies babies like to hear. We play this song all the time now! There were other recommendations for classical music, Baby Einstein music, and ‘Taylor Swift songs that babies love.’ You know as a Swiftie - this playlist is on regular rotation around here! She seems to like Ivy and The Archer best lately. 🥹

I ended up asking a follow-up question to hear what songs your babies loved and/or helped them calm down. The responses were amazing/hilarious. I decided to compile all of them into a playlist called CALM BABY. I play this every day and see what songs Daisy likes! 🤣

Swap from an infant car seat to a convertible car seat. A couple of people mentioned that their baby did so much better in a convertible car seat compared to an infant car seat. Something about the angle/positioning? One perk of an infant car seat is being able to carry it in/out of places, but if your baby screams in the car seat like Daisy, you likely aren’t using it to tote baby around much. We have the NUNA PIPA car seat FYI. We did use our convertible travel car seat (Cosco Scenera Next) on our recent trip to Arizona and that…did not make the car seat experience any better for Daisy. 🫠

Remove the newborn insert. Speaking of car seat setup, a lot of people said their baby did better without the newborn insert! We removed this before the holidays and I do think it helped Daisy! It seemed like maybe all the extra cushion and padding was making her hot in there and maybe even more mad. Who knows. But we don’t have the newborn inserts in there anymore!

High-Contrast Toy - when Daisy was about three months old, we hung up this high-contrast toy in her car seat! I don’t think it would have been beneficial / helped at all earlier, but she does seem to like it! I want to share soon about toys for babies under six months, but this one is absolutely a top hit! It’s a 3-in-1 small activity mat - I swap out which side of the mat Daisy can see in the car seat now and then. You can also easily untie it, throw it in your diaper bag, and use it for playtime. There’s a mirror, magnets, squeaker, crinkle paper, teether, and more!

Crack the window open a little bit. We haven’t done this because it’s a bit chilly here and we always have the sun shade up on the window by Daisy’s car seat, but again - could be worth trying for your baby!

Reflux? A couple of parents shared that their baby was upset in the car seat and it was reflux-related. Making sure to burp the baby before a car ride was beneficial!

Chiropractor Adjustment - a couple of folks shared that perhaps a chiropractor adjustment for the baby would help!

Hang Giant Photo of Parents. I saw this idea floating around TikTok and IG (example) and it’s so cute! I can see this being helpful for Daisy but haven’t had a chance to try it or print out a big photo of myself for her. 🤣

And the most important….remember that THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

A lot of parents shared that one day, their baby just… stopped screaming in their car seat. No tricks or products or songs. It just…clicked. This IS a phase and will not last forever!

All of this being said, I *have* noticed we’re having more and more ‘better car rides’ lately. Daisy still cries a lot in her car seat and doesn’t ENJOY it, but I’ve caught myself realizing that oh my gosh, she didn’t cry in the car today. Last week, she did a 20-minute car ride without crying! But the next day, she screams the entire 5-minute drive to school. It’s really day-by-day, situation-by-situation, and still unpredictable. But I do feel like it’s finally getting a little better a little more often. Fingers crossed… here’s to hoping! 🚗

Driving home from the hospital 💛