Life Lately & On Being Responsible for the Content We Consume on Social Media
Life Lately & On Being Responsible for the Content We Consume on Social Media
April 2022 - Newsletter #11
Hi friends! Hope you’re having a good week! I skipped my March newsletter, so excited to finally get this out and share again. As a reminder, this newsletter is basically a round-up of round-up of life things - what I'm enjoying, reading, learning, buying, doing, thinking about, and more. Thanks for being here + reading along! 🥰
Here we go!
REFLECTIONS ON SOCIAL MEDIA CONSUMPTION
Someone recently DMed me saying:
Your gorgeous, curated feed does a lot of work here. Moms see your beautiful rooms and they feel pressure, just like they do upon seeing the perfect lives curated by all influencers. If you care about mental health, show the mess. No filter. This feed [with a screenshot to my IG] is an insane representation of a perfect unobtainable life.
Ugh. That message came out of nowhere and made me feel…not great. And, it made me feel sad that this person felt this way after seeing something that I’ve shared.
I’ve shared about the struggles of juggling work + parenthood, feeling overwhelmed/touched out and raising my voice/crying a lot, body image ups and downs, the shock and trauma of parenting (existing) during a pandemic, photos of my messy house , etc, etc, etc. I have an entire IG story highlight called ‘hard days.’ I almost constantly share about the juxtapositions — how life is messy and hard and exhausting and also so wonderful and magical and special.
Yes, I do edit my photos and use Lightroom presets. Sharing an edited photo doesn’t make the content I share ‘unattainable’ or harmful. Posting a cute corner of our home doesn’t mean my life is perfect (far from it). Adding a filter doesn’t mean I don’t care about mental health.
I’m not here to convince you why this message was rude/mean or justify why and how I share and show up online. I wasn’t asking for feedback on the type of content I share, and even if I was, this wasn’t an appropriate or kind way to share feedback.
But more importantly, I can’t be responsible for what someone else on social media chooses to consume. I didn’t auto-enroll anyone to follow me on IG. Every single one of you reading this right now has taken the conscious choice to sign up for this newsletter and open the email itself. Just like I’m free to share what I want and feel comfortable with - other people are free to choose what type of content and accounts they follow. I would never want someone to feel worse after something I’ve shared, but that is up to them to determine what their individual threshold might be.💛
We are responsible for the content we consume. If you feel less then, triggered by, inadequate, bored by, upset over someone you follow online, it might make sense to unfollow. I’ve had to do this before to many people on social media, including former friends/coworkers/people I used to enjoy following. But it no longer was healthy or good for me to continue following and that is okay! *I would just add that I do believe some educational content might make us feel uncomfortable, but it’s still important for us to be aware of and stick around to learn from. I’m definitely not talking about my own social channels in this category.*
Lastly, of course, I shared this message with my mom (who is also a therapist). She gave me the good advice that we don’t have to apologize for our mess or our beauty. I’m allowed to unapologetically share the beauty of my life, and also the hard and messy aspects of life. She also shared a powerful reminder from therapist and author Nedra Glover Tawwab that we are not for everyone and THAT IS OKAY! We can be wonderful, and still be disliked. That one is tough for me to digest (hi, I’m a 30 something recovering people pleaser 😬) but really important thing to remember.
Take care of yourselves and unfollow (or mute) accounts that make you feel worse. 💛
LIFE LATELY
I skipped a March newsletter, but last month, we did a little Nashville staycation
and then spent a few days in the Blue Ridge Mountains in Georgia! E also hosted his first ever plant class here in Nashville (so proud of him!) and we celebrated his birthday last week! 🎉
This weekend, my parents and two of my three sisters are visiting Nashville for the Easter weekend! We have a few fun things planned (like a family trip to our favorite Community Hour, a concert downtown at The Ryman, and an Easter Egg Hunt on Sunday!) 🐰🧺🐣
We booked our Morocco trip for this summer! The country has been shut down for so long, but is reopen and we finalllly booked our flights and lodging. It’ll just be Eric and I am so excited to go back, make a new supplier connections, and get a bunch of inspiration and ideas (and textiles!) for my shop.
The girls started their ISR lessons this week! The swim classes are every day Monday - Friday at 8am for three weeks! So we will be having very early mornings in April ;). This is Lucy’s 4th (!) year of ISR; she started at 18 months and this spring will be working on strokes. This is Winnie’s 2nd year of ISR and she’ll be doing a refresher course. More about ISR in this blog post.
April marks one year since my grandpa died. I’ve had a lot more happy and celebratory anniversaries in my life than painful ones like this one, but it still doesn’t take away the sting from that loss. Here are 10 ways to support someone experiencing loss. 💔
THINGS ON THE INTERNET I READ & ENJOYED
Why is whining so triggering? // this IG post (don’t miss the caption!) made me feel very seen 💛
“To be silent is to be complicit, people (including myself) have said. This can be true…but sometimes to be silent is to finally become honest.” // this very written article about ‘performing our grief' in a public arena’ (social media) was very thought provoking.
“Even in the most progressive households where couples split the chores pretty evenly, there's still often one person who ends up doing most of the "thinking" work—also known as the mental load.” // read more about the mental load (that often, but not always, falls on women/mothers) here
THINGS I LIKE / RECENTLY PURCHASED
Finally bit the bullet and bought these Frēda Salvador cut-out sneakers I’ve been eyeing for YEARS. They feel like slightly elevated sneakers and I’ve been loving them with dresses AND jeans!
This 30 Things I Don’t Regret Buying blog post is pretty self-explanatory! ;)
My sis convinced me to get this dress with built-in shorts (!!) — it’s a more affordable version of the Outdoor Voices version. I think it’ll be a great summer option for park days with the girls!
This blog post shares four seasonal neutrals (pictured below!) from Everlane that I’m loving. Have worn everything (minus swimsuit, yet!) multiple times already.
RANDOM PLANT TIP FROM E 🌵
It's spring! The days are getting longer, it's getting warmer and chances are your plants are starting to grow more. Now is a perfect time to do a spring cleaning with your plants! Two easy ways to "spring clean" are:
putting your plants in the shower and spraying them off
gently wipe with a damp washcloth to knock off all the dust they have accumulated over the winter.
Removing the layer of dust will help your plant photosynthesize better as the days get longer - and your plant will thank you with more leaves!
READING & COOKING
Reading: Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah, Apples Never Fall by Liane Moriarty, Unsettled Ground by Claire Fuller, Somebody’s Daughter by Ashley C. Ford, Necessary Lies by Diane Chamberlin
Cooking: I recently bought the latest Half Baked Harvest cookbook and have been making (and enjoying!) a lot of those recipes. I’ve loved the Garlic Yogurt with Poached Eggs for breakfast, the Garlic Butter Brussel Sprouts with Lemon Aioli, and the Herby Sun-dried Tomato Salad.Honestly, I used to buy and cook recipes from cookbooks alllllll the time but haven’t been enjoying cooking as much lately since being pregnant with Winnie and now having two kids. But this cookbook gave me some much-overdue cooking inspiration and some delicious meals!
MOTHERHOOD REFLECTIONS
“To the mom rocking a newborn at 2am, feeling jealous of her partner for sleeping. To the mom craving alone time, yet finds it hard to disconnect from ‘mom life’ and stares at photos of her kids when she gets it. To the mom questioning, struggling, stressing, grieving, hoping, trying, counting down the minutes until bedtime…” // Read full post here.
“One day there won’t be fruit to cut, lunchboxes to pack, diapers to change, tiny laundry to fold. One day there won’t be a bath and bedtime routine. One day I won’t be constantly needed. one day I won’t hear mama mama mama ringing in my ears.” // Read full post here
“There will be times when you wake up and aren’t sure how you’ll muster the energy to take care of two little ones; when you aren’t sure how life even got this wild and busy and overwhelming. There will be so many other times where you look at your two kids together and think — how is this my life? How am I so very lucky? Acknowledge the former as real and valid feelings, but lean into the latter. This is your life — it’s crazy and it’s messy and it’s absolutely wonderful.” // Read the full post here
FROM MY CAMERA ROLL
CODES & DISCOUNTS
LUCKYANDI for 10% off everything in my Moroccan textile shop!
LUCKY20 for 20% super soft, comfy kids undies (UNDERS) made in Nashville
ANDI25 - Get 25% off Eizzy Baby - we love their collapsible silicone snack cups
LUCKY10 for 10% off Little Colorado - we own the kids picnic table!
LUCKY5OFF for $5 off your first Vellabox candle subscription order
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