Hi friends! This newsletter is (usually) a round-up of life things - what I'm enjoying, reading, learning, buying, doing, thinking about, and more. Sometimes, it’s a bit more vulnerable - talking about things like whether or not to have a third kid, and how to handle rejection and feeling left out. Sometimes, it’s a deep dive into a specific topic, like travel or back to school. With the holiday season in full swing, I want to talk today about hospitality, celebrations, and hosting/entertaining at home. ✨
I’ve always been a celebrate everything kinda gal, and I’m not exactly sure why or how this came to be, but I’ve always had people over in my space. I remember during both my junior and senior years of college our apartment/house was always a gathering place - for pregaming (crucial), parties, photo shoots, movie marathons, whatever. Throughout my 20s in San Francisco, my roommates and I hosted epic Friendsgiving celebrations that friends and acquaintances still to this day talk (and laugh) about. When E and I moved in together, people rotated in and out of our apartment all the time - for casual glasses of wine after work, for sunset views on the roof, for weekend brunch, for YouTube video binge sessions on the pull-out sofa, for dinner parties, and more.
I was recently thinking about a time when we were newly married and decided to host a holiday party. Our SF apartment was 600(ish) square feet and we had 30? 40? people over. Quite literally, friends crammed into every corner of the apartment (including our bed!) eating and drinking and chatting and it was SO FUN. The food menu was bruschetta - I made like six different types and had platters on my dresser, the coffee table, and the TV console. Not one person complained about sitting on the floor or judged our very un-fancy IKEA dining table.
My sense is that all of us are almost always looking for a soft place to land. And I always want my home to be one of those places.
I am very well aware of how easy it is to tell yourself ‘My house isn’t big/nice/clean/organized/fun/[insert something else'] enough.’ But I promise you, that if you just extend the invitation and open your home, people will come. Even if your home is small, messy, and covered in laundry - they will come. Even if you feel like a self-conscious cook (like me) or host, I want to encourage you to just extend the invite. But the thing is - people do 👏🏻 not 👏🏻 care 👏🏻 what your house looks like or what food you serve or what you are wearing — they simply want to spend time with others, to feel accepted and understood, and to feel at home.
What people are craving isn’t perfection. People aren’t longing to be impressed; they’re longing to feel like they’re home. If you create a space full of love and character and creativity and soul, they’ll take off their shoes and curl up with gratitude and rest, no matter how small, no matter how undone, no matter how odd. - Shauna Niequist
Here are a few reminders when it comes to hosting/entertaining in your home and some tips that (in my opinion) make it a little easier. 💛
YOUR HOUSE IS NOT A MUSEUM ✨
Real people live here. When you let go of the expectation that everything needs to be perfect, or that people are coming into your home to observe - it takes so much pressure off of yourself as the host! Of course, it’s more than okay to have off-limit areas of your home that you don’t want guests (or kids!) to be in. But for me, I want my home to be a place of rest, coziness, and joy for people who visit. That means they sometimes see piles of our laundry or the inevitable pile of items on my table I need to return to UPS.
ACCEPT THAT MESSES WILL HAPPEN 🧽
Messes, spills, and accidents are bound to happen and even more so, when you invite others over. We’ve had coffee and wine spilled on our rugs more times than I can count. That being said, I find it helpful to have some excellent cleaning products on hand to quickly get to the stain. Some handy products I usually have on hand are this tough stain upholstery and carpet cleaner and Miss Mouth’s Messy Eater Spray (for items I’m throwing in the washing machine!). I’ll share more about the vacuum(s) we use and love below.
EMBRACE NONTRADITIONAL SEATING
Our house is 100+ years old and like most old homes, doesn’t have one large entertaining space. Beyond that, because of our fireplaces and the house layout, there’s not even room in our family room and living room for big furniture. What that means, depending on the size of the gathering, is that people are usually gathered in a few different rooms and often, on the floor! Plug for my Moroccan floor cushions which double as cozy floor seating for guests.
PREPPING FOR OVERNIGHT GUESTS
There are certainly lots of adorable ideas on Pinterest for wowing your overnight guests with a welcome basket. I gasped when I visited my friend Ali and her bathroom was STOCKED UP with goodies for guests - everything from makeup wipes and cotton balls to chapstick and deodorant. It was amazing and so thoughtful. I could probably step it up, but I do make sure our shower is stocked with face wash, body wash, shampoo/conditioner, and that there’s a phone charger by the bed.
HAVE FOOD. DON’T STRESS ABOUT IT.
In my current season of life, I don’t overanalyze the food part of hosting. I just plan to… have food available. Some people LOVE to cook for others and that’s wonderful! There was a time when E and I would host more traditional dinner parties, inviting a friend or two to come over. We’d decide on the perfect recipe for that person/group — cooking in that way for friends brought me joy. These days…not so much! We keep it super casual around here because life is busier and we’re not just feeding adults, but lots of kids too. We do a LOT of snack boards (cheese plates FTW! 🧀 🏆) or just 'let’s see what’s in the fridge’ dinners. Nachos are an easy crowd-pleaser. I always have a ton of fruit and yogurt pouches on hand for kids. Sometimes we order pizza. For parties, I love a good theme. I hope that close friends know by now to just open my cabinet and fridge and help themselves to whatever.
MORE READING ABOUT HOSPITALITY
Start with Hello (and Other Simple Ways to Live as Neighbors) by Shannan Martin. I loved the whole book, but this quote was especially powerful: “A home is not a reflection of identity. It’s a shelter for belonging through every season… the pressure is off to shove parts of ourselves into the spare room and slam the door shut. If we want to be known, really known, we’re going to have to pull back the curtain and wave people in. Which means getting over the idea that our homes are here to perform on our behalf.”
Bread and Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table with Recipes by Shauna Niequist. I have read all of Shauna’s books and sort of feel like she’s my big sister or something. Her words just really resonate with me so deeply. This book shares about family, friendship, and bringing people together. And like all of her books, it’s a great read!
THEMED PARTY IDEAS
DEALING WITH THE INEVITABLE MESSES + SPILLS
This portion of the newsletter is sponsored by BISSELL.
In 2020, I was looking for a vacuum I could use on our sealed hardwood floors AND our rugs. At a friend's recommendation, I ordered the BISSELL CrossWave Pet Pro Multi-Surface Wet Dry Vac. It's lived up to my friend's hype and is used on a regular basis at our house. Last year, I ordered the viral BISSELL Little Green Portable Carpet Cleaner, which has been awesome for cleaning our kitchen nook bench cushions, our cream couch, and even pillows! These are the only cleaning machines we have at home so when BISSELL recently reached out about partnering to share about their latest addition to the family, it was an easy YES!
The Little Green HydroSteam Pet takes the cult-favorite Little Green machine to the next level with HydroSteam Technology. With three cleaning modes – SteamWash, Steam Only, and Wash modes – the Little Green HydroSteam Pet makes it quick and easy to tackle all kinds of messes, spills, accidents, or stains, whether from your pet, kid, or…yourself!
We recently threw a little pup-themed tea party to celebrate Jack's 7th birthday and of course, there were a few 'tea' (apple juice) spills. As a mom of two young kids and a dog, I'm no stranger to messes, accidents, and stains. I was amazed at how quickly and easily the Little Green HydroSteam Pet cleaned up the apple juice from our wool rug and Moroccan pouf.
If you're eyeing a new portable cleaner, I highly recommend the Little Green HydroSteam Pet. You can shop it right from the BISSELL website.
CODES & DISCOUNTS
BETTER DAYS - use code LUCKYANDI for 10% off
CHATBOOKS - use code LUCKYANDI20 for 20% off!
EIZZY BABY - use code ANDI25 for 25% off
HIYA VITAMINS - use this link for $15 first order + free shipping
NUULY - use this link for $10 off your first order!
SHOP LUCKY COLLECTIVE (my Moroccan textile shop!) - use code LUCKYANDI for 10% off!
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No. 20 - Life Lately & On Feeling Rejected + Left Out (October 2023)
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